Courtyard Ass. Circa 2004

Courtyard Ass


He was leaning against the brick wall that was our school on the north side of the court yard. He had his legs crossed, ankle over ankle and his arms crossed over his chest. His platinum blonde hair practically glowed in the sun. He was talking to one of his friends but his intense emerald green eyes were searching the court yard. He saw me and had a smug little smile on his face.


He was an ass, plain and simple, and I hated him. But I was the only girl in school that didn’t drool over him. Just because he had a penis and a car, he thought he was the shit. Sometimes I just wanted to beat that stupid smug smile off his face.


He was on our school football team but didn’t get much playing time. No one noticed, or cared, he was popular, rich and hansom, and that’s all that mattered to them. It was amazing what looks and money could get you.


The only good thing about him was that he was fun and easy to make fun of. Especially when he tries to hit on me. Apparently he hasn’t figured out that I hate him, I’m bi and I have a girlfriend.


He walked over, confidence radiating off of him like heat from the sun. I wonder if he’ll just take a simple ‘No way in hell would I ever go out with you.’ Or if I’m actually going to have to hit him to get it through his thick head. Hmmm… maybe I’ll bring Sam into school sometime. Maybe if he actually sees that I do have a girlfriend he’ll get the hell away from me.


“Hey Cass, How’s it hanging?” He asked, giving me, once again, his stupid smug smile.


Do other girls actually fall for this crap?


“Oh Brad, what are you doing on this side of the court yard? Your ego too big for one side?” I asked, being as sarcastically nice as I could.


“Good one Cass, I just wanted to come over and say Hi, and to see if you needed a ride home. Did I tell you my parents got me a new Jeep for my birthday? It’s fully loaded, leather seats, a CD player, everything.”


“Oh wow, don’t you feel special. Thanks, but no thanks, I’ve got a ride.”


“My car isn’t the only thing fully loaded, you know.”


Did he really just say that? Please, where does he get this shit? What does he Google ‘lame ass lines to get her into bed with you’? Actually I wouldn’t be surprised if he did.


“That’s great and all, but one, I don’t give a shit and two, I’m taken. So take your pathetic sorry ass, and go fuck some freshmen.”


“Oh Cass, that hurts, it really does. So who’s the lucky guy?” He asked all curious.


See this is his problem; he can’t stand to know that there are girls in his small world that would actually pass him up.


“Girl.” I told him, with one of my own smug smiles.


“What?” He asked puzzled.


Maybe if he got his head out of his ass, he’d know I had a girlfriend.


“I have a girlfriend.” I said rolling my eyes.


“Oh so you really are a fag, Hun, I bet one night with me and you’ll never want anything else.”


Oh shit, he so did not just called me a fag. Pete, who was standing a few feet away from me, observing the scene, as he usually does perked right up when he said that.






“Oh please, I know bananas that could do a better job than you. And I’m not a fag. Call me that again and I’ll kick your ass.”


“Oh please baby, I’m a hundred percent all man…”


A hundred percent all man? What the fuck does that mean? Where does he get this shit, honestly?


“…And you couldn’t kick my ass even if you wanted to.” He said with a smirk.


“Well, I could, I want to, but I don’t have to.” I told him.


Pete started to walk over to us, who also happens to be my best friend. And for these comments, he’ll kill him. He’s a hundred percent supportive of me, has been and always will be. Pete’s the man; he’s smart, funny, and nice and could bench press a truck if he wanted to.


“What do you mean you don’t have to?” He asked confused.
Pete’s also on the football team. He’s the number one line backer in the state. And you don’t want to get on his bad side, which includes pissing me off.


“That’s just what I mean, I don’t have to kick your ass, and I already know someone who wants to kill you.” I said.
Pete’s the captain of the football team, which is one of the main reasons why Brad doesn’t get much playing time, and the fact that he sucks. Pete’s not your stereotypical dumb jock. Actually he’s nowhere near dumb. His favorite class is AP chem and his GPA is like a 3.9. He’s still pissed about not getting that 4.0 yet.


“Who’d wanna kill me?” He asked smiling.


“Me.” Pete said, he was standing right behind me, his arms crossed over his chest.


“Good timing. Do you always have to make a big entrance?” I asked, looking up and smiling at him.


“Yeah, you know me, always.” He said smiling.


“Why do you want to kill me?” Brad asked.


It was never a good thing when the captain of the football team wanted to kill you, especially when he’s 6’4”, 250 pounds and practically all muscle.


“Well that’s an easy question. You called her a fag, you suck at football, when you think you’re like Tom Brady or something, you’re annoying and act like a total dick head. Is that a good enough reason for you or should I go into more detail?”


“Uh…no, no that’s ok. Well now I know how you really feel…” He actually looked bummed, weird.


“Oh don’t act like no one’s ever said it before. Well, I guess never to your face anyway.” Pete said.


And at that he just walked away, like a dog with his tail between his legs.


“Wow I figured he’d at least say something before retreating” I said.


“Yeah me too… that was weird.” Pete looked confused, me too.


“Well, maybe he finally figured out it wasn’t worth getting his ass kicked over.”


Pete just looked at me with his head cocked and one eyebrow raised.






**~**~**~**~**~**






She laughed at that look, as she always did. It was amazing how I could get her to laugh with just a simple look.


“Please the kid isn’t that smart.”


“Yeah I guess that’s true” she said smiling.


“What’s his problem anyway? There’s like a hundred different girls in this school who want to be with him, and he picks the one girl that hates him. Man, that’s just fucked.”


“That’s his main problem. He wants what he can’t have, and he actually thinks he might get it.” She shook her head making her pony tail hit both sides of her head.


“Yeah, I guess guys are just dumb that way.” I said with a smirk.


It was true too. Some guys just didn’t get that there are girls out there who don’t like them for reasons you never knew. I learned that the hard way, and it wasn’t fun.


“You mean you’re actually dissing your own kind?”


“Ha.ha.ha…yeah, well you know it’s true for girls too.”


“Yeah what is up with that anyway? I mean, the girls that should have a great guy don’t, and the bitches that don’t deserve them, have them.” She said, again shaking her head.


“We both know life never makes sense.” Just then the bell, that sounded more like a church bell, went off. Time for class.


“Ah shit, is it really time to go back to that hell hold?” She asked.


“Yep”


“What do you have first by the way?” She asked.


“Um….let me think….” Not art, I have that second….


“Insert jeopardy theme song here.” she said to me sarcastically.


“Yeah bite me, it’s early, I’m not fully awake yet. And I think I have Spanish.” I told her.


“Cool, I have history…I think…maybe….”


“Good I’ll walk you"